Part of the Pack
by Honesta
Summary: Starting at the end of New Moon, this is a story written from the perspective of Bella and how things would have worked had she chosen Jacob instead of Edward.
1. Chapter 1

_This begins when Bella finds out Edward plans on killing himself by breaking the rules the Volturi enforce._

"Bella, please. Don't go. Stay… For me?" Jacob's eyes bore into my own. He needed me to stay, but I needed to save Edward.

"Jacob… I can't. But I will come back to you. I promise. Wait for me?" I refused to look away from his eyes. I hope that he understood that I would not only come back to him, but I could come back for him.

Jacob sighed and side-stepped out of my way, he knew that there was no stopping me. My mind was made up. As Alice and I drove off, I looked back to see Jacob looking longingly after us. I saw him tremble slightly and could swear I saw his mouth move before he transformed and ran off into the woods behind Charlie's house. I hoped he would wait for me. I knew it was cruel to ask him to wait, but I wasn't doing the same thing as Edward, I wasn't leaving Jacob because it was the best. I was saving someone I loved and promising to come back to the one I needed.

The whole trip seemed a blur. I remembered Alice dropping me off as close to the square as she could. I remembered the pang of desperation as I watched the second hand inch towards high noon. I remembered the feel of Edward's cool skin slamming into my own as I pushed as hard as I could to get him back into the shadows. He said something about heaven not being what he expected. But despite all my best efforts, the Volturi didn't think it was good enough. I clutched to Edward's arm as we walked through the cold corridors of the underground maze. I wished it were Jacob beside me; he could make this cold bearable.

I heard a voice greeting me from behind and looked over. He eyes weren't red, amber, or black. Her skin was the pale perfection I had come to expect. Yet, all the other members of the group, each of them a vampire, ignored this woman. I looked up at Edward, "Is she?.."

Edward looked back at the smiling woman, "Human? Yes."

"Does she know about?.."

"She knows that we are vampires, yes. She hopes to be one of them eventually."

The little vampire in front laughed. "Or she might be dinner."

The cold demeanor of the small one in front made me shiver. How could anyone _want _this kind of life? The completely accept that they would drink the blood of humans for the rest of eternity? This thought process made me stumble in my steps. It was the life I wanted so badly not that long ago. I was glad for two things; the first that Edward couldn't read my mind for whatever reason, and the second being that I was naturally clumsy, so Edward wouldn't notice me trip.

What had happened in the room just hours before was a nightmare I knew I would relive every night for years to come. I couldn't believe becoming a vampire seemed so desirable just months before and now that I no longer wanted it, the enforcers of the vampires were demanding it. I knew that if I refused being changed now, the Cullens would be punished. I knew too much. And of course… Volturi justice had two options, live and die. The Cullens got their "live" already, next time it would be die. I couldn't let the Cullens be hurt because of me, but I couldn't be one of them either. I didn't want it. I would have to give up Jacob to become a vampire. He is a werewolf first and foremost. The mortal enemy of vampires… And to become one… Just the thought hurt too much. I had been through too much already, I couldn't deal with this too.

I couldn't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up with the familiar chill in the bed beside me, it freaked me out. I jerked up and out of bed, which, knowing my natural lack of grace, means I fell out of bed. "Edward? What are you doing here?"

Edward's black eyes looked hurt for a brief moment. "I thought you would want me here. I mean, you did rescue me."

I shook my head. "Edward… I can't… It's just that…" I took a deep breath in. This was not going to be easy. "Edward, I can't let you hurt me like that again. I saved you because I love you, and I always will. But I can't just let things pop back into place. You left me. You tore a hole in my heart that has only just started healing."

Edward looked up in shock before his face became calm. "You're right. I'm no good for you. I just thought… Because you saved me and all…"

"Listen, I love you Edward. I will never love anyone the way I love you, but I can't pretend nothing happened. Do you have _any_ idea what happened the day you left me?"

"Not really. I mean, Alice told me you were okay in a sense. I couldn't make myself care for you the way I did when I left."

"Well, when you left me, I thought I was going to die in that forest. And the worst part? I didn't care. You were my life Edward. My _life_. For months I sat around in a depression until Charlie _told_ me to go out. And then I decided to be even _more_ stupid and began doing dangerous things just so I could see or hear you. And do you know who kept me going? Do you?"

Edward sighed. "No, Alice couldn't see you so many times this summer. Listen Bella, I'm…"

I shivered hearing his sultry voice saying my name. I couldn't let him go on if I was going to do what I needed to do, "Jacob. He was there for me when you decided that what was best for me was to let me wallow in self pity."

Edward jerked back, "_Wolf boy?"_

"Yes… Wolf boy." I assumed Alice had told Edward everything, including who I had been hanging out with so much lately and how that was the reason for her voids in her sight. "He made the pain I felt after you left almost go away. And I've fallen for him Edward." I looked away. I was angry at Edward for leaving me, but leaving him was breaking my heart as bad as it had been broken when he left me alone in the forest. "He… That is to say, I haven't told him yet. But I love him. Not the same way I love you, but I do love him. And he would never leave me alone in the forest because it was 'for the best'. I can count on Jacob, but I don't know if I can count on you."

Edward looked at his feet, no trace of a smile in his eyes now. "I know I've always told you that you should avoid me Bella… But what I didn't expect was how much it would hurt when you finally took my advice. I do have to ask though… Why _did_ you save me?"

"I told you. I love you. I couldn't let you kill yourself over me. I wanted to show you I was alive. I'm no one worth dying over Edward. And I certainly wasn't going to let you die over a lie. I didn't know how I was going to handle seeing you again, but I've decided that maybe I should give Jacob a chance. I can see a family with him."

Edward nodded, his resolve set. "It's what's best for you. I won't bother you anymore."

He had said something along those lines before, but this time I remembered the pain it put me in. Instead of having a numb feeling wash over me, the hole that was finally healing tore open again. I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around myself to hold myself together. "I'll miss you Edward, and I'll never forget you." With that, Edward was gone. For the first time, I really looked around. I was in my room, and I was sure that I would be grounded for life as soon as Charlie realized I was awake. It was worth being grounded knowing I had saved someone I loved so dearly though. I was no one to die over, and I would do it one hundred times over to make sure no one suffered for me.

I heard a soft thump behind me, and knowing it couldn't be Edward, I spun around to see my favorite boy standing there. His tan arms and impish smile never looked so attractive as they did now, "Bella, I think we need to talk."


	2. Chapter 2

"Bella, I think we need to talk." Jacob's tall form stood there, a laugh in his eye.

"Jacob? You scared me… Why do we need to talk?" Hearing "we need to talk" was not something I felt I could handle right now. All I could hope was that Jacob wasn't going to say his final good-bye too.

"Did you mean what you said?" Jacob's face flushed and his eyes flicked to mine for a short moment before looking at the ground in front of him.

"When?"

"Just now. Between you and that blood-sucker."

I rolled my eyes and was sure to make it obvious. I hated it when Jacob made known his distaste for the Cullens, and he knew I didn't like it. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jacob laughed, "Yeah you don't. When you left me standing in your driveway I thought I had lost you for good Bella… I was prepared to fight your blo… Prepared to fight Edwad for you. I told you I had time Bella. I told you I would wait."

I shook my head. Did he really think I wasn't listening to him? "Don't think I missed your little slip up with Edward's name." I had to admit, Jacob could make me laugh though.

"The point is, you just dumped him. You said it was because you had fallen for me."

I should have figured that Jacob would be listening, "I know I told you that I needed you to keep trying Jacob. And I also know I told you that nothing would ever come of it. But when I saw Edward's face, something inside of me clicked. I don't know… It was weird. It was like, I felt my heart squeeze because as much as I wanted to be back with him, I knew I couldn't risk him trying to 'do what was best' for me anymore. I can't be in a relationship where he could leave on a whim because I'm a clumsy oaf."

Jacob stepped forward and placed his hands on the sides of my face. "I won't leave you. And I don't care if you think you're broken. To me, you're perfect."

I stepped back, immediately missing the warmth on my cheeks, "But if we have a relationship, it won't be perfect. Victoria's still out there and now the Volturi demand that I be changed or die. They think I know too much. The only reason I was able to come back is because they thought I was interesting." I shook my head. I didn't know why Jacob couldn't hear my thoughts or why so many powers didn't work on me. I hated being _interesting._

"Victoria?" Jacob laughed and stood tall. "Bella, you have a pack of werewolves on your side, what makes you think one red-headed chick is going to get through all of us? We kept her away from you all year, one day she'll slip up and we'll catch her. But… What's a Volturi?"

"The Volturi are like the government to vampires. They are the ones who keep the vampires hidden. If a vampire is caught breaking these unspoken rules, the Volturi takes care of them. It's how Edward was trying to kill himself. He was going to expose himself to the humans."

Jacob thought for a moment and nodded. "I might have had to thank them had they killed him."

"Jacob!"

"Sorry… But how many of these Volturi are there?"

"I don't know. There are three main ones and several loyal followers. Your pack couldn't take them all. You can't protect me from them." I shook her head as she felt the sting of tears in my eyes. There was no way I could win. Either way I was going to have to break a heart. I way I was a danger to someone. "It's not fair!" I screamed before remembered Charlie was downstairs. I quickly covered my mouth and my eyes felt as if they were going to pop out of my head.

Jacob looked at me with fear in his eyes and mouthed _Charlie_ before disappearing out the window. I stood staring out the window, hating that I was alone in the room when I heard the door open behind me. "Bella! You're awake. What's not fair?"

I tried thinking quickly, "Um… It's such a nice day outside and I can't go anywhere." I was far too tired to lie well, and it would be hard getting Charlie to believe me right now.

Charlie narrowed his eyes and looked at me before speaking, "I don't care if it's not fair Isabella. Two years in a row now you've disappeared for lord only knows what reason. This time all I got was a note. A note! I could care less if you're eighteen now, if you want to be treated like an adult, you should act more like one."

I'll admit, I was hardly thinking about Charlie before, but him telling me that I wasn't acting like an adult upset me, "As an adult, I shouldn't even have to tell you anything Cha… Dad. I didn't even have to leave a note!"

Charlie's face grew tired and he walked over to sit on the bed. "Bella, I know. I really do. But you scared me. Last time you walked out you almost died. What if a note was all I had left of you this time? And you made poor Jacob worry too. I can't lose you Bells… And as your father, I shouldn't have to worry about seeing you go before I do."

I started, Charlie never showed these kid of emotions, "Dad… I'm sorry. It was a spur of the moment thing. I really didn't mean to worry you."

Yeah… well… I guess I can't stop you from growing up, can I? Just try not to do it again. I'm too old for you to give my heart a jolt like that."

I smirked. Good thing about Charlie, he wasn't going to drag a father/daughter talk out, "I'll try Dad. I'll do my best to not plan things on the fly. But I can't make promises. I may be a legal adult, but I'm still a teenager, remember?"

Charlie smiled and looked up, "You can go visit the Blacks if you like."

"I would like that Dad, I just might." Charlie walked out of the room and I watched him. With as little as he and I talked, we never had talks quite like that. Charlie always avoided serious talks if he could. Our personalities never called for it. I knew I might not be able to keep my promise of no more spontaneous outings. Not with Victoria out to kill me and the Volturi out to change me. What I knew even less about though, was how things were going to work with Jacob. We still had a lot of talking to do and I had no idea where to begin. Was it selfish of me to lead Jacob on? I was broken. I could never give all of myself to him. He deserved the very best. But I couldn't force myself to push him away too.

"Psst! Bella!" I heard Jacob right outside my window and smiled.

I looked down and laughed, "What?"

"So, do you want to come over? I'm sure my dad would be thrilled to see you! And the pack is going to love that you severed ties with the Cullens."

I smiled wider. How I loved my sun. "Jacob, you're insane. I didn't do it because I wanted to please the pack. I did it because all I could think about was you."

"Yeah?" A grin spread wide across Jacob's face, "Well, I still think we should talk. It seems we have a bit to talk about. I mean, you haven't even told me where you and I stand!"

"Sure Jacob, let me go tell my Dad. He's always liked it when you and I hung out." I pulled out of the window and grabbed the nicest outfit I could find in a hurry and threw it on. I ran down the stairs and told Charlie I was going to visit Jacob. I could hear Charlie mumble happily as the door shut behind me.

I ran out back and saw Jacob, my Jacob waiting there for me. This day might have not started out very well, but I had a feeling it was going to turn out to be a good day after all.


	3. Chapter 3

I hopped in my truck and heard the familiar roar a it came to life. I was comforted knowing that Jacob had fixed it for me. Well, not _for_ me, but it was certainly nice to think so. Jacob jumped in the passenger side and I looked over at him, "You're trusting me to drive?"

Jacob laughed, "Bella, you're clumsy on your feet, but so far this beast is intact. I'm not worried."

"Jacob, I just want to ask you… Do you think it's fair that I'm being so selfish? I mean, asking you to stick around with the trouble I seem to be surrounded by seems pretty unfair."

"Selfish?" He scoffed, "You're pretty selfless if I do say so myself Bella. And with all the weird going ons in your life, I would say you are doing pretty good."

I thought about that as we drove towards the reservation. Selfless… Everyone was always saying how selfless I was when all I felt I was thinking about was myself. I started hanging out with Jacob because I wanted to see Edward. I kept going to see Jacob because he made the hole in my chest feel like it was nothing more than a dull throb. I shook my head, "No Jacob, in the long run, I've been rather selfish. I can't believe I asked you to keep trying with me when I knew I could offer you no more than a broken shell. That's pretty selfish Jacob."

He shook his head, "Nah. Broken hearts don't always heal easy, and sometimes you just need to feel loved to get over it. That's what I'm here for!" Jacob grinned and my insides warmed. The rest of the trip was made with random small talk, which, as was usual with Jacob, was cheering me up.

As we got out of the truck, Jacob turned to me, "I need to call up Sam and see if we can't meet. If you're going to be hanging out with me, the pack is going to have to figure out how to deal with potential fights."

I shivered as I walked in, expecting Jacob to follow me. I only remembered how much quicker it must be to communicate as a wolf than over the phone when I heard a howl and a yip. "Hello Bella." Billy's voice startled me. It was cold and protective, like it was when the Cullens were living outside of Forks. "So, you probably know this already, but Dr. Cullen got his job back recently."

I stumbled back, "Actually, no, I wasn't aware."

"No? What about you and that Cullen boy? I thought he told you everything."

"He… did. Well, he used to. We broke up." Billy's eyes lit up more than I liked, but no use not telling him details now. So, as I explained what had happened, I thought about how the Cullens were still around. At least, Carlisle was, which meant Esme was too. This caused me to be angry at Edward. How could he do this to me? He promised I wouldn't see him anymore! I couldn't handle possibly seeing him around. I didn't know if I could take it. As I finished up the story, Jacob walked in.

"Dad, I'm going to need to pick up some more shorts. Bella, Sam was happy that you left Edward, but he told me some news I don't think you'll really like. That red-head… Victoria? I guess she's still checking out the area. The pack is still chasing her off, but she's persistent."

"I figured she would still be after me." I shook my head, not surprised, "But I don't understand why Carlisle and Esme are still here."

"All the Cullens are here. And you're the only one who can talk to them about it. Maybe talk to the little one, you seem to like her." Jacob was suddenly all business and I wasn't sure I liked it. I figured it was because the vampires were his natural enemy and he was telling me I needed to talk to them.

"Yeah… Sure, I'll talk to them." I hated this whole thing. My heart still yearned for Edward, but I couldn't handle the thought that he might just up and leave again. Love was so strange, and I hoped in time I would heal from everything, but with the wound so fresh I found it unfair that I had to be the one to talk to the Cullens. I loved most of the family. Rosalie was the only exception. I even loved Jasper in a way, despite the fact that he had tried to kill me, but I thought I would be able to sever myself from them. I felt a lump in my throat and swallowed several times to try and prevent myself from crying again.

I felt a warm hand on the side of my face and I looked up. "Please Bella, don't cry." I looked into Jacob's eyes and they seemed sad for me. I breathed in his warm breath, and while it wasn't sweet like Edwards was, it made my heart jump. My lips longed to feel his pressed against them. I leaned my head into his hand and placed my own hands on top of his. I didn't feel the need to say anything, I just needed his touch. His eyes now held a longing that I knew had been building for a while now. How long exactly, I didn't know, but I felt that same longing well up behind my broken heart.

I heard him whisper something that I could only guess meant "I love you" and he pulled in. He was hesitant, and I didn't blame him, the last time we were this close, I ran off to save one whom he couldn't stand. He sighed as his lips pressed into mine, fierce and passionate. There was no being careful behind this. I might have been breakable to him, but not nearly as breakable as I was to Edward. There was no electricity in my limbs, no urge to do what was forbidden here. Instead, it was a slow burn, as if molten lava were coursing through my veins. It was slow, but steady, and I could feel it moving in from my toes and fingertips. I knew that if it reached my heart, I would be so overcome by a need for Jacob, that I might push limits.

My fingers released his hair… How had they gotten there? And I sighed, hating to have to be the careful one now. Jacob moaned into my lips and pulled away, his breathing heavy and his eyes smoldering. "Why did you stop?" His voice was half whine, half pleading for more.

"I'm not going to cross any boundaries or let my hormones get in the way quite yet Jacob. I love you, but I want to make sure my heart can handle you before…" I left it hanging, a blush reddening my face.

He laughed, "Ah, you're going to be the death of me Bella."

I cringed at the familiar words, "I've heard that one before. I don't mean to be this way you know."

Jacob shook his head, "No… Bella, I just meant. Ugh, this is going to be embarrassing, and you're going to call me a jerk… But I say that because I'm still a teenage boy despite it all. You got my 16 year old hormones raging. Those are pretty hard to control sometimes."

I laughed, "You're not a jerk Jake. You are human. Amazingly human."


	4. Chapter 4

"Why on earth did they have to live off some impossible to find path?" I grumbled as I looked for the trees that would signify the turn to the Cullen's place. "And why the hell did I agree to talk to them?" I slammed my fist into the steering wheel and jerked it back up shaking it hard. I could be so stupid some days. Of course it's going to hurt taking out my anger on this beast. Suddenly I saw the slightly less overgrown path and pulled onto it. I made the drive back into the middle of nowhere and felt my heart jump when the white house came into view. Alice was already standing outside, a wary smile on her face.

As I parked, she skipped up to the truck, "Hi Bella, I knew you were coming, though I couldn't tell why." She frowned, "I thought I told you to be careful around those mutts."

I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes, "Alice… Please. I just need to talk to you."

"I know, but not about what. I'm guessing you want me to tell Edward to stay in the house?"

"Please!" I widened my eyes, I couldn't bear the thought of having to face him right now. "What I need to talk about is Victoria."

"What about her?"

"Well, the boys will still see her every once and a while. Since you guys are back, they can't chase her off the reservation."

Alice rubbed her head. "Yeah, we can keep an eye open for her."

"I would like that. Even if you're just protecting Charlie. I mean, I'll probably spend a lot of time with Jacob now, so I'm mainly worried about him."

"Ah, he'll be easier to watch anyway. You're going to not exist most of the time, and it's going to drive me crazy Bella." Suddenly her eyes went blank and focused again in seconds. She turned to the door. "Edward, I thought I asked you to stay inside," she said just loud enough for him to hear.

"I know Alice," his voice caught me off caught guard and it took all my effort not to show it. At this point, I was once again grateful that I was the one person Edward couldn't hear. "I'm sure you've already seen what I'm about to show you, but I think Bella should know of it to."

She rolled her eyes, "You could have sent someone else…" With that, Edward threw a newspaper at her and she read the front page. "Hmm, interesting. I don't understand why this couldn't have waited though?.."

"What? What is it?" I asked, speaking only to Alice.

"Well, it appears that one of us is using Seattle as their hunting ground. And might I say they are being quite careless about it." She turned her head towards Edward and I could see her speaking to him in thought.

"I don't know," Edward replied. "Carlisle thought we should keep an eye on it if nothing else though. He wondered if you could check on the Volturi every once and a while and see if they are going to come to fix the situation."

Alice shrugged, "I can try, sure. This whole thing isn't too big yet though." She looked at the paper again, "Might want to tell your wolves about this Bella. You know, just in case."

"Um… Yeah, okay. But how will you keep me updated if anything changes?"

Alice laughed and I thought of bells, "Charlie still likes me, right?"

"Are you kidding? He loves you!"

"I'll come over and if you aren't there, maybe I'll leave a note or something."

"Thanks Alice." At this I allowed myself to look at Edward and he hadn't changed. He was purposely keeping his eyes away from me and my heart ached. His eyes were squinted as if he were focusing on something and all I could hope was that I hadn't completely broken his heart. As I watched, he turned on his heel and walked to the house as only a vampire could.

"Sorry," I heard Alice murmur, "I told him to stay in." She glanced at the house, "You know, for all the good he thinks this is doing you, he sure is giving us hell." When I flinched at Alice's words she quickly continued, "No way in your fault Bella. The way Edward left you was not right, we all agree on that part. And the whole time he was hoping you could move on too, he just never expected the shock of what would happen when you did. Deserves him right though. All of us hate to see him suffer, sure, but none of us approved when he left you. For the longest time, I wasn't sure if they had found you." She shook her head sadly. "Bella, are you positive this is right for you though? Your Jacob is a young werewolf, and they are very unstable."

I looked at her in shock for a moment, "Yes, I'm sure. Aren't young vampires just as dangerous? It's not like I was exactly safe 100% of the time with you guys either." I immediately thought of my last birthday and Jasper's reaction to a paper cut. "And Jacob has more control than you give him credit for."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Bella, you really hang out with the wrong crowds you know."

"Yeah Alice, I've heard that before." I shrugged, "Listen, I'm sorry to cause any pain in your family, I really am. But I had better go. I told Jacob I would let him know when I talked to you guys, and Charlie is going to be expecting dinner."

I got back in my truck and drove away from the house for what I hoped was the last time. It had hurt more than I expected it to to come here and even sweet Alice seemed to have trouble accepting me anymore. I hated being the go-between gal and knew that if the situation in Seattle got out of control that I would probably have to do it all again. This whole break up thing was becoming much harder than I had hoped it would ever be, and it hurt more than it should have to be so completely ignored by Edward. I wanted to be mad at him for that, but all I wanted to do was cry. The thought that kept running through my mind was, "Did I do the right thing? Should I take it all back?"

"DAMN IT!" I yelled and hit the steering wheel again. I could tell already that by the end of all this mess, I was going to hate Edward for putting me through all this.


End file.
